AWESOME AND FUNNY QUOTES - ALBERT EINSTEIN

AWESOME & FUNNY QUOTES- ALBERT EINSTEIN :

"Bureaucracy is the death of all sound work." 

"You can’t blame gravity for falling in love." 

"I’m doing just fine, considering that I have triumphantly survived Nazism and two wives."

"I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don’t have to."

"Women always worry about things that men forget; men always worry about things women remember."

"Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves."

"A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?"

"There is a race between mankind and the universe. Mankind is trying to build bigger, better, faster, and more foolproof machines. The universe is trying to build bigger, better, and faster fools. So far the universe is winning."

"After receiving a distinction from Chicago Decalogue Society: How unfortunate a state must a community find itself if it cannot produce a more suitable candidate upon whom to confer such a distinction?"

"As for the words of warm praise addressed to me, I shall carefully refrain from disputing them. For who still believes that there is such a thing as genuine modesty? I should run the risk of being taken for just an old hypocrite."

"Science is a wonderful thing if one does not have to earn one’s living at it."

"If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?"

"What a strange thing must be a girl’s soul! Do you really believe that you could find permanent happiness through others, even if this be the one and only beloved man? I know this sort of animal personally, from my own experience as I am one of them myself. Not too much should be expected from them, this I know quite exactly. Today we are sullen, tomorrow high-spirited, after tomorrow cold, then again irritated and half-sick of life. And so it goes."

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the the universe."

"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."

"The wireless telegraph is not difficult to understand. The ordinary telegraph is like a very long cat. You pull the tail in New York, and it meows in Los Angeles. The wireless is the same, only without the cat."

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

"Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. (No solid evidence that Einstein said this one)"

"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity."

"Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves."

"Those who thoughtlessly make use of the miracles of science and technology, without understanding more about them than a cow eating plants understands about botany, should be ashamed of themselves."

"One had to cram all this stuff into one’s mind for the examinations, whether one liked it or not. This coercion had such a deterring effect on me that, after I had passed the final examination, I found the consideration of any scientific problems distasteful to me for an entire year."

"No one here at the Technikum is up to date in modern physics ? I have already tapped all of them without success. Would I too become so lazy intellectually if I were ever doing well?"

"The hardest thing to understand in the world is the income tax."

"Black holes are where God divided by zero."

"Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater."

"The devil has put a penalty on all things we enjoy in life. Either we suffer in health or we suffer in soul or we get fat."

"If A equals success, then the formula is A equals X plus Y and Z, with X being work, Y play, and Z keeping your mouth shut."

"We all know that light travels faster than sound. That’s why certain people appear bright until you hear them speak."

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